Friday, August 27, 2010

I'm Speechless

Would some one please come up with a caption for this photo. I have absolutely no clue what is going on here.

In this photo: Edward, Mocha from Travels with Mocha, Dangrdafne's Mini-E
Leave your answers in the comments.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Vacation Odds And Ends

Here is the last of the vacation posts. Then we can get back to our regularly scheduled posts. I bet you are all wondering what happened to Bella and if the Edwards found her, how the clan is getting along, or if EC has successfully house trained his new wolf. Oh wait, that's something I'm wondering.

Anyway, here is the last of the Michigan adventures of Edward and Masen.


This first pic is of Edward and Masen in the back of the drivers seat in my dad's truck.



"Where are we going?"
"Some place called Pentwater."
"What the hell is a Pentwater."
"Clearly it's a town, you vile speaking heathen."
"Did you just call me a heathen?"
"I most certainly did."
"......Alright."


On the last day of our trip we were able to go out on a big 30 foot fishing boat out on Lake Michigan. There were 5 foot waves that day which made it really fun since the fish weren't biting at all. Edward really enjoyed the boat ride. Here is posing by the down riggers.

Then he got really excited when the boat went fast.

"Wahoooooo!! I'm on a boat!!" Yes you are Edward.


Edward and Masen both got to see something they have never seen before. My dad caught this on a lure while fishing in the channel. The lure snagged it from the bottom.

"Uuuh, you didn't just do that, did you?"
"What? No! That's ludicrous. It came out of the lake."
"Oh, good. I was worried there for a moment. What is it?"
"The human's father says it's Zebra Mussels."
"That can't be right. It looks like a whole bunch of little clams stuck together. It looks nothing like the muscle tissue of an animal. Especially of an animal that doesn't inhabit this Continent!"
"I know. That's what I said. But he was adamant about them being Zebra Mussels."
"Guys, they are called Zebra Mussels because of the zebra like stripes on the shell. You can't see them now because of all the goo on them. That's just what they are called. They aren't literally the muscles of a zebra."
"Oh, that makes more sense."


Last time Edward went to Michigan with us he didn't get to really fish with us. I didn't get a pole his size. He did however jump into the lake and pull out an 18 pound salmon. If you peruse the posts from last November, I think, you will see a picture of him with it.
This year I was finally able to find an Edward sized fishing pole. So he got to do some real fishing. Here is him and Masen fishing at a marina on White Lake.

"So you just put the lure in the water and wait?"
"Yep."
"We wait for the fish to hook himself?"
"Yep."
"So there is nothing we can do until that happens?"
"Nope."
"We can't do anything to make the fish bite quicker?"
"Nope."
"Well this seems like a pointless sport."
"Yep."
Despite the Edwards' attitude, they stuck it out and waited. Patience is very easy for vampires, or so they say. I can disagree with this statement sometimes.

Eventually their patience was rewarded.


"We got one!"
The boys were very excited to catch their first fish.....legally. Here they are with their catch, looking pensive.


There are some incredibly beautiful sunsets on Lake Michigan. It looks a lot like the ocean there with the sun setting right on the water. Here is what a typical sunset on the lake looks like.



Isn't it beautiful. Edward absolutely loved the sunsets. He was so moved by them, that they actually brought out Edward's artistic side. So Edward got himself a paint set and skillfully made himself and easel out of pens and tape, and went to the pier to try to recreate the view onto paper.


Edward stepped back to admire his work.



Then Masen approached to view Edward's masterpiece.



"What do you think?"
"Well, it's uh......is the sun smiling?"
"Yeah, it's my artistic depiction of the sun's emotion."
"Oh, then it's perfect."
"Really? Thanks! It's my very first painting."
"No kidding?"


After he was finished with the sunset, Edward decided to find a different muse.

"Now that's perfect."

That's it for the vacation adventures. I hoped you enjoyed them. The boys certainly did. And no I didn't forget to post Edward's reflection. I have been very sick this weekend with food poisoning and do not feel like taking a pic of it, uploading it to the computer and all that blah blah blah. And I didn't want to put off this post any longer. We have a story to continue. Basically, all you need to know is Edward enjoyed his vacation.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Extreme Sports Are Not For Everyone

As you may recall, Edward had packed his skateboard along for his vacation. When he decided to bring Masen I knew that we were going to need another one. I figure the best way to end a fight is to not have it start at all. So I went to the store and got another one for Masen.

One afternoon the boys thought that they would take advantage of my dad's back porch area that is cemented over and practice their "mad skillz", which I soon found out were very limited. I think that the vampires, with the super speed and strength, forget that the inanimate objects they happen to be rolling on do not possess these super skills.

Here is Edward and Masen with their boards. They were going for an edgy look.


The boys started off simple. They were just skating around testing their balance, speed, and abilities.


After they felt comfortable on the boards they started to get a bit more adventurous. Masen decided to try something cool first.

"Hey Edward, watch this!"



Masen did some kind of jumpy thing that was way too fast to photograph, but the end result was pretty easy to catch.


"I don't think you did it right."
"You think?! God, sometimes you are so stupid."
"Me? I'm not the one who thought it would be fun to ride in the front end of the human's car and then ended up damaging one of the bushings."
"You promised not to bring that up! And anyway, the damage was covered in the warranty. And don't forget the time you tried to push the gas pedal through the floor."
"It wasn't going fast enough! And how did you know about that?"
"EC told me."
"I'm going to kill him! Then I'm going to kill you!"
"Your mom."
"Ugh."
I love how well they get along and how respectful they are of my things.


Next the boys decided to have a race down the picnic table.


However neither of them won because they forgot to decide what they were going to do when they reached the end of the table.

Apparently the decision was to just fall to their demise. Silly vampires.


They continued to race around on the ground and attempt different tricks without breaking or damaging the boards. It was not as easy as they thought it would be. Here Masen was going at a decent speed and I think he thought that he would just be able to take the skateboard over the grass.


He was clearly wrong.



"Ooomf!"


Then Edward sped up to the scene thinking he could best Masen in skill.


Edward was a bit over confident.



"Ooomf!"


That was Edward and Masen's skateboarding adventures. I hoped you enjoyed it more than they did.
Here is Edward's reflection on skateboards.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Edward And Masen Go To The Beach

We were very fortunate this year to be able to have an actual beach day in Michigan. White Lake is out of the question for swimming for me. The water looks gross. It is brown and mucky. But Lake Michigan is gorgeous. The water is so clear and where it is deep, it looks blue. And it is so big that it looks like the ocean. The only problem is that the water temp. is usually around 47 degrees. That is not swimmable to me, however it is to some of the locals. There has been some different weather patterns in the area this year that have caused the water temp. to be around 78 degrees. Now that I like. It was glorious! We had such a good time at the beach. Even Edward and Masen had a blast. They started the trip with a bit of a swim.



"The current is really strong."
"I know. It's awesome!"
"Where do you think it will take us?"
"I don't know. Let's find out."



So the boys decided to just let go and see where the Lake would carry them. First it took them a bit further into the water. Yes, they are both there. Can you see them? They are having a blast.




But then it spilled them back on to the shore.


"Well that didn't last very long."
"What the hell is that all about?"
"We've talked about this. Watch your mouth."
"Sorry."
Masen continued to play in the water while Edward tried to free himself from the sand trap he seemed to have found himself in.


"I'm going back out in the water."


"Uh, Masen, I kinda got a situation here."




Masen was way too busy to help out his brother. All we could hear were unintelligible under water mumblings.





Eventually Masen resurfaced.



"Wahooooo!" He was having a great time.


"Masen! I have been calling for your help. Now get over here before I kick your ass!"
"Edward! I don't want to have to tell you again about your language. That is enough!"
"Uhg, just help me out."

Masen helped Edward out, but just in time for a new wave to wash them both up on the shore.


"I think the lake just kicked both our asses. Are you happy?"
"Not with you speaking that way, but I am happy that I am no longer stuck."
"Your mom is no longer stuck."
The boys both laughed for a few minutes at the "your mom" joke.


Then they decided to get dried off and take a break from the ass kicking water.




So the Edwards set their sights on digging a big friggin hole in the sand. It kept them out of trouble and I am all up for things that accomplish that.



"How did you get your side so smooth?"




"I don't keep falling into it."
"You should try it. It's fun."
"Your mom is fun."
"You may have crossed a line there."
"What are you going to do about it? Kick my ass?"
"Edward!! I have had it!"
"Hey, why don't you guys build me a mountain?!" I needed to take control before there was a contest to see who could rip the most limbs off the other vamp. The boys were easily distracted, as usual, and set to the task.



After they finished the mountain, Edward wanted to try some other type of sand sculpting. He asked Masen to help him.


I really wasn't sure what to think of it.

"Uh, Edward, that is an interesting choice of uh...shapes."
"What do you mean? It's a mermaid."
"Really?"
"Yes. What else do you think it would be?"
I didn't answer......out loud.
"Ew, gross. Get your head out of the gutter. How on earth could you think I would do that? It is clearly a mermaid."
"It doesn't look like a mermaid."
"Well it is a mermaid."
"No it's not. It's a merman."
"Oh, it sure looks like a man."
"Ok, I'm out of here."

Masen got out of the sculpture. Edward was still persistent that he was not being perverse.



"See? Under my feet is the fin. It's a fin."



While Edward was trying to convince me of his innocence, Masen had his own problems to deal with.

"Um, Edward, I kinda got a situation here."


Here is Edward's reflection from the day.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Cat Stalking

After miles and miles of construction traffic, we are all safely home from Michigan. The drive should be about 11 1/2 hours. Thanks to route 80 needing more attention than the cast of the Jersey Shore, the drive home took over 16 hours!! That is the longest it has ever taken. I was so exhausted when we got home at 12:30 last night. So I took off work today to get rejuvenated before having to go to work.


I know all of you are impatiently waiting for Edward and Masen's adventures from Michigan. You shall wait no longer. There are too many photos for just one post so there will be about 4 or 5. I know that you are most excited. I know I am and I was there!


For those of you who are new, let me introduce you to rainbow text.

Words of :
Edward: Blue
Masen: Green
Me: Pink


The drive to Michigan took 12 hours. The boys were BORED. They were very happy when we arrived.


"Oh, thank heavens we are here."
"Damn that was a long drive."
"Don't swear."
"Sorry."

The next morning, the boys decided to explore the house. They were very pleased to find my dad's cat, Shadow.

I was afraid of what their plans for Shadow might be so I gave them a bit of a warning.

"Now boys, Shadow is not a snack, meal, or tasty morsel. He is my dad's pet and you can't drink him."
"Yes, yes. We know. We just want to play with him. By the way, are you ever going to introduce me to an animal I can drink?"
"Uhhhh, if we get mice in the house maybe."
"Mice, lovely."
Edward was not appreciative. Anyway, the boys tried to get Shadow's attention.


"Here kitty kitty."

"I don't think he cares."
"Sure he does. Give him a minute."

Sure enough Edward pissed off Shadow enough to get a reaction out of him.



However, Edward greatly underestimated the cat's strength.

"Uh oh."



"What the hell? That damn cat knocked me to the floor!"
"Don't swear."
"Shut up."

Seeing Edward flung to the floor brought out the competitive side of Masen. He thought that he would now take a chance in dominating the cat when Edward couldn't.

He tried to use the element of surprise.


But Masen obviously gained the cat's attention.




So he tried to move quickly again.



But was still noticed by the cat. Then Masen made the mistake of making another quick movement. This only made Shadow lunge for the annoying vampire.


"Oh my god! He's got my arm! HE'S GOT MY ARM!!"
Masen continued to struggle not realizing that would only excite the cat's reaction.


"Help!! I've become the meal! How did this happen?!" Masen grew intolerant of his situation and finally evaded the cat's vicious jaws and tried another tactic. He thought hiding behind a wall would be a better offensive position.



He was wrong.


"Claws in the pea coat! Claws in the pea coat!!!"
Edward had had enough. He was going to end the cat once and for all. He decided to bring out the big guns. Literally.


"Oh no! Edward has a gun!"
"Alright cat. That is the last time you will ever sink your teeth into a vampire. Now is the time for retribution! You will pay for your transgressions today! No more Mr. Nice Vamp. Go ahead, kitty. Make my day."
Edward got a little too lost in his speech and missed the cat make his get away.


"Kitty?"



"Crap!"

Edward and Masen now have a new found respect for cats, I think. Their experience with Shadow only led to more of this.

"I hurt."
"Me too."
"Should we tell the other Edwards about this when we get home?"
"Absolutely not!"
"If the human thinks about it, they will know."
"Damn."
"Don't swear."
"Ugh."


Here is Edward's reflection from the experience.