Monday, September 13, 2010

The Search Has Been Called Off

As you know, the Edwards have been given the task of looking for Bella after she went missing about two months ago. If you are unaware of this then peruse July 7th's post and you will see. Anyway, the search for Bella has not gone well at all. The last time Edward and EC saw her she had lost the Edward decoy in the woods and she left to get Edward a glass of water. The Edwards searched for weeks and found nothing. Not even the decoy. Since the boys did put forth their best effort, I did decide to take them off punishment and allow them their entertainments again. They were relieved to be able to watch TV and movies, and play video games again.

We all decided to call off the search for Bella. It was clear that if eight Edwards couldn't find her in two months, then they never were. There was much cheering and a huge celebration when I gave in to that decision. The boys are very happy being Bella free. They have digressed to there normal banter and shenanigans.

Words of Edward will be in BLUE. Other Edwards will be in the typical grey. It should not be too challenging to follow along. If it is may I suggest some Dr. Suess for you? I will give you more rainbow text guides later in the post when more characters arrive.

Here, Masen is talking with Newdward and Eddie.


"All I'm saying is that clearly, Cap'n Crunch is a really freaky spokes person for a cereal. First of all, he is a captain of a cereal for crying out loud, and he is majorly deformed."
"How so?"
"His eyebrows are on his hat!!"
"That's true. That is pretty freaky."
"That's what I'm trying to say!"

Yeah, they have really deep conversations.

Here is Cullen, Anthony, and Ed playing some kind of toss and keep away game. I'm not really sure about the specifics of it.



Edward and EC came and disrupted the others' fun when they were allowed to watch movies again.
"Hey guys! EC and I want to watch a movie. You wanna watch it with us?"


"17 Again!! I love that movie!"
"Me too!"
"I totally wish I was Zac Efron!"
"Hey, we should make a movie called 17 Still."
The boys laughed hysterically at this comment for a good eight minutes.
"Hey EC, what is with you and Zac Efron having matching outfits?"
"Shut up."
The Edwards then all went to the basement to watch their movie and there was much rejoicing.

I can't tell you how happy they have been since the search was called off and Bella has been out of the house. She really does put a damper on their happiness.
But something happened tonight to completely change the dynamic of the happy attitudes of the Edwards.
While I was making dinner, there was a knock on the back door. Edward went to get it.

"Son of a !"



Rainbow text guide: Victoria-RED Bella-BROWN Alice-PINK Jasper-GREEN

"Edward! I missed you!"
"What are you doing here, Victoria?"
"I have a couple of things that belong to you."
"That is where you are wrong."
"Oh? How so?"
"You only have one thing that belongs to me. And I will be taking it back now."


"Are you not concerned about your human?"
"Um...no....not particularly."
"Edward, this is my new friend, Vickie. She said that she would help me find you again. And she did. Isn't that great?"
"Oh, yes. I'm so grateful, I could just bite her head off."
"Oh Edward you are so silly."
"Yep, I'm a hoot. So......I guess I'll see you later."
"Wait, you are not going to try to fight me for her?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Well, because I'm a danger to her and will only drink her. Does that not upset you? It is supposed to upset you."
"Nope, I'm good."
"Uh....well then......here, you can have her back."
"No please, keep her."
"I really don't want to. She is remarkably irritating."
"Trust me, I know. Really, you can keep her."
"Oh, I couldn't. That is way to generous of you. I can't possibly accept."
"But you must. I insist. My gift to you for bringing back my decoy."
"Well...if you insist. I am thirsty. This really doesn't bother you?"
"Not at all. You are doing me a huge favor."
"Hm. Well, thank you. I guess, my dinner and I will be on our way."
"Have a good evening. Please feel free to come visit again."
"Oh Edward, you are so kind."
"Well, I really owe you one."
"I'll remember that."
With that, Victoria went to leave with dinner, I mean Bella. But Edward should have known that getting rid of Bella would not be so easy.


"Nooooo! Stop!"

"Crap."
"Edward, you can't send Bella away with Victoria! What were you thinking?!"
"I was thinking about all the peace it would bring me."
"Edward! You are so selfish. What would Carlisle say?"
Edward then hung his head in shame at the mention of Carlisle. Victoria was distracted enough for Alice and Jasper to make a move to save Bella.


"Quick, close the door!"
"I'm on it, baby!"

Alice got Bella inside, while Jasper was quickly closing the door on Victoria. However, he was not quick enough for Victoria's escape tactics.

She made it into the house just before it closed, and then hid from the other vampires.
"We are going to have to find her."
"She poses no immediate threat. We just have to keep an eye on Bella."
"Super."
"Oh, shut up, Edward. You are such an ass."
Alice, Jasper, and Edward then took a very clingy Bella to the rest of the crew to let them know what happened.
"Hey guys, look who's back?"

"Jasper! Hey man!"
"What's up my brother?"
"Good to see you again."
"No, not Jasper."
"Oh, hey, the decoy is back!"
"I missed that thing."
"I'm so glad it's safe!"
"Ugh! Idiots! Bella is back you freaks."
"Aww man."
"Seriously? I thought we were done with the whole Bella thing."
"Wait. Today is September 13th. She came back on her birthday? Crap, now we have to get her a present."
"I'm moving."
"No one is going anywhere. Victoria is in the house and we need to keep Bella safe from her."
"Sweet! Vampire hide and seek!"
"Wahoo!"
With that, the crew went on their mission, although they thought it was more of a game.
Since everyone left in such a hurry, Edward was left with Bella. He was clearly not happy about the arrangement.

"Edward, it's still my birthday. Can I ask one thing?"

"Oh dear god."
"Can you take me to Red Robin? I got an email for a free birthday burger."
"Oh...yeah, sure...I guess."
"Then you can kiss me."
"Oh hell."

12 comments:

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Another masterpiece! LMAO! Eclipse Edward is totally wearing Zac's outfit. 17 still???? Lolol!
Maybe Edward can pass Bella off to another Edward. She won't realize after a full stomach of Red Robin.
Victoria did this on purpose. Now she's roaming freely in the house. Nothing good will come of this.

I_heart_Fifty said...

Brilliant!

Mrs. Hall said...

good times!! good times!

Jayla said...

Oh my- another good one LwE. Thanks for the laugh :-)

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

17 Still!! Ha, that was hilarious. Although, I did spew Dr. Pepper through my nose at the Free Red Robin birthday burger thing! Classic!

P.S. Your captcha reads "boypurs" ... ironic? I think not.

Dangrdafne said...

Red Robin - YUM!! LOL!!!

Victoria is very cool but I agree with Mrs. P nothing good can come of her being in the house.

Awesome post!

wv: menscrip

TongueTwied said...

LMAO!! You've done it again. Tears rolling!!!!!!!! oh shirtzz, "17 Still" that's funny!

Hey Victoria, how you likin' LwE's created army????

Edward what would Carlisle think? And Esme! What would your mom think? LOL

errr...welcome back Bella? Hope Edward gives her a kiss. It is her birthday.

Trixie and Tess said...

OhMYgoodness. I love it! Hilarious.

The whole "17 Still" bit is fantastic!

Tess♥

TheRugbymom said...

You rock, LwE! Damn! Sorry - I mean't Darn! I agree with the Edwards - I was happy Bella was gone.

I laughed so loud when Bella said "It's still my birthday. Can I ask one thing?", that the dog won't stop barking at me now!

I remember how Edward and Masen acted last time they went to Red Robin. It left us speechless. I hope this trip turns out better. I have a suggestion . . . Bella would look good with the napkin wrapper over her face! Just sayin' . . .

WV: manore I wish!

17foreverlisa said...

I spy 17!! Woot woot! What else can I say that everyone hasn't said already? Hilarious!! I don't know why, but this cracked me up:

"Jasper! Hey man!"
"What's up my brother?"

Poor Bella :( You may have to send her with Alice and Jasper when they come back to visit.

TwitardedMom said...

This is great. Just had to thank you for all the work you put into these. It is appreciated.

Toefunny said...

Oh good Gawd...the Eyebrows are on his hat made me snort....
bwauhahahhha