Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Results Are In!!

How many of you have been waiting on the edge of your seats for the results to the mini Edward contest?? Well wait no further! There were three submissions (haha MotU) to the contest. Tongue Twied, Musing Bella, and Mrs. P all sent in entries. It was difficult to pick just one, and since I found mini Edward for only two dollars and fifty (haha MotU) cents, I didn't just buy one. So I decided to grant each contestant a mini Edward because no one should be without one.

I mentioned that I would post the winner's entry on the blog so all three entries will be posted. Today I am starting with Tongue Twied's entry. Hope you enjoy!!


The following takes place prior to Bella’s recent arrival in a town
next to Forks, PA.

Edward: Blue
Alice: Pink
Jasper: Green
Vlad: Red

If a line appears italicised and in [ ]s it is a silent thought, not spoken words, but we all know Edward can hear it. However, Edward has a few thoughts of his own.


Hey Jasper, Alice whatcha up to?
Nothing.
[Yeah, that’s what I thought, I mean think, I mean am thinking
right this very second.]

Listen, I need to go to Forks for a couple of days. Psychochick has
gone missing and Charlie is worried. He thinks I’m the only one who
can save her dumb self from her dumb self. [I’m the only one that fits
into her delusions anyway. Pubescent nutjob!]
He asked me to come
help. But the thing is, Forks is too wet for my precious little viddle
vitty Vlad here. All that rain would short circuit him. Can I count on
you guys to take care of him while I’m gone?


Well we don’t have much experience with “kids” but I did have a
little sister back in Texas that I liked to give piggyback rides to,
you know until I sunk my teeth into, drained her dry, and discarded
her like an empty burlap potato sack in a field outside Austin.

[And yet somehow Alice thinks he’ll be under as good control as the
rest of us soon.]

Of course! {turns to Vlad} Awww we’ll take care of you little fella,
such a cute little thing. What do we do with him?

Well I’ll go over everything you need to know for Vlad. First,
Alice, I don’t suppose you’ve had any visions about pscyhochick that
might help me get this over and done with…

Nope, not a one.
[Of course not. Five dollar carnival psychic! Once again proving
that nobody in this family has any real talent except me.]



This is where Vlad likes to sleep and sometimes play. Don’t ask
what the human used it for. You don’t want to know, but since Vlad has
taken a liking to it, it is his now. You have to pick him up and fly
him around like an airplane. Trust me, he loves it. But don’t go at
Vampiric speed because he gets too sick and vomits everywhere. Once he
vomited in the human’s shoe and she was NOT pleased at all. Oh, and at
nighttime be sure to sing him "You are my sunshine" and cover him with
a blanket so he’s as snug as a bug in a rug.





I bet the little fella likes to play hide and go seek.
Go hide. I'll stand up here and count to 10.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.




[Jasper’s an idiot. Nobody climbs up high to count. He can totally
see down and see where Vlad is.]

Well you’re the action-pixie that brought him into this family. I
just don’t think Remember the Alamo up there understands the concept
of the game. {Places Vlad behind box} Here Vlad, why don’t we {Uses
his finger quotes}
“hide” you behind this box.





Ready or not here I come! {jumps down and knocks over Edward}
Come on pretty boy with lush full hair way better than mine ever
looks, you should have totally been able to “hear” me coming.

[Ughh…for the love of my little sister don’t remind me.]
Uhh, Edward are you okay?
Yeah Alice, I’m only down here so as not to scare Vlad but do me a
favor and distract me so I don’t jump up in one of my lithe movements
and pummel the ever-unliving v-neck sweater out of your boyfriend.

Okay. Okay. Let's calm down and focus...Ummm… remember that time
when you sent crazy girl off with Jazz and I to take her to a mental
institution in Phoenix. Before we left you said to her, “You get a
life, now” and she told everyone you said, “You are my wife, now.”

{laughs uncontrollably}
{Growls} And you two vamprods totally let her get away. Remind me
again why I’m entrusting my precious pal with you two.

Well at least you found her dancing around that ballet studio
convinced she was performing the Nutcracker.

[Yeah psycho nutcracker!]
[yeah, Psychotic nutcracker! Wow when Edward is lying down like
that I can tell my sideburns are totally fuller than his. I'm so much
more plasculine than him.]

Jazz, has anyone every told you that your mood swings are totally
giving them whiplash? And that you totally suck at this game. You guys
go behind the speaker and count and Vlad and I will hide.





Don’t make a sound Vlad. They’ll never think to look for us here.
…9…10. Ready or not here we come.
Marco!
Polo!
There you are!!!
[Oh Vlad, you are one stupid pet.]




Oh! Oh! This is fun! Okay I’ll count you guys hide.
{Jasper grabs Vlad and heads into the microwave}
Wait for me!
No Edward. You get your own hiding spot!
Not fair!! I want to hide in there with you too. {Struggles to open
door.}
It's my spot!

{Struggles to close door.} It’s not like it has your name on it!
{Edward releases his grip.}




It does so have my name on it! See right here it says “E-wave”
which used to be my club name back in the ‘90s because I could read
brain waves. Just like you were J-Emo because you could…

[That’s right E-wave, well read this brain wave. I win the
microwave spot! The door is shut.]

[You tricked me? Why I ought to turn this thing on high power for
20 minutes and melt your plastic action-jackson ass! But I won’t
because, Vlad may be stupid, but I won’t let any harm come to him. I
feel very protective of him, my special little buddy.]

[Lemme out! Lemme out! It still smells like the human’s reheated
fish dinner in here.]

{Edward breaks off microwave door to free Vlad}
Game over! I was thinking about how protective I feel of Vlad and
I’m just do not think this is going to work out.

Oh don’t say that Edward! We can do better. Really we can.




I’ve got it! Say no more Edward! You want protective, we can do
protective. We'll just put him in a bubble so he has full-time
protection.
{comes back with Vlad in bubble}
{throws hands up in the air} Longhorn Idiot! He can’t even breathe
in there! Get him out…NOW! That’s it! I’m calling Charlie and telling
him I can’t help him. Maybe Eduardo can go. [At least that guy would
be good for something and that would mean some peace and quiet at the
bank again. sigh]
I’m sure if he finds Bella McNutcase she wouldn’t
know the difference if it bit her in the abdomen…several times.

4 comments:

Musing Bella said...

LMAO @ "plasculine"! Good work, TT!

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

Hahahaha.
This was way too much fun. Thank you, both LWE and TT for making me smile.
I can't wait to read the next adventure.

And congrats to all three of you for winning a mini E.

Dangrdafne said...

*raises hand from edge of seat*

That was awesome TT. I actually for a moment forgot it was TT writing and thought that Living with Edward was writing. That is pretty darn good!

Too funny and excellent story for the pictures. Congratulations!!!

TongueTwied said...

thanks MB, jelena, and DD. Thanks LwE, that was fun. I must have missed the part where you get to rearrange the pictures. That might have made things easier. duh!