Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Results Are In!! Part Three

Alright my Twi lovelies, here is the last entry for the mini Edward Contest. It belongs to Musing Bella. MB's entry was fantabulous. I know you will all love it. It had me in tears laughing. It takes some pretty good humor to do that to me, so kudos to you MB! So without further ado......

Edward: Blue
Alice: Pink
Jasper: Green

Recently, LwE was out of the house and had neglected to bring Edward with her. Bored, Edward was thinking he'd like to go through the experience of getting into shape for the upcoming summer, as so many of us try to do each year. He found LwE's workout tapes and was getting ready to start his regimen when Alice showed up.

"Edward? I had a vision... you should not attempt this workout! It won't end well!"
"But Alice, how else will I recreate the experience of trying to look my best in my speedo?"
"Edward, be realistic. You can't even take your clothes off. How would anyone know the difference?"

At this, Edward became very upset and threw himself onto the ground in a fit of rage.

"It's not fair! I just want to pretend!! I was just trying to have some fun!!"
Edward beat his tiny fists on the ground, while Jasper (who had arrived seconds after Alice) sent waves of calm over him.
"Edward, you are such a drama queen sometimes."
"Listen, Edward, Alice has a good point. And there are other things we can do for fun. Tantrums really aren't necessary."
At this, and with the help of Jasper's calming, Edward perked up a bit.
"Like, what sort of other things?"
"Well, is Vlad around here somewhere? Let's go get him and I'll explain."
The trio trekked off to find Vlad, and finally found him resting on his little knee-pad of a bed.

"Vlad? Wake up, Vlad..." said Edward, gently

"OK, Jasper, you have all of us. Now what do you propose we do for some fun, since my human is out of the house and you two won't let me exercise?"
Edward was still a little grumpy from having his workout plans thwarted.
"Umm... I'm out of here. You boys have fun!"

Edward didn't see whatever vision Alice might have had that would cause her to beat such a hasty retreat after ruining his evening so thoroughly by showing up in the first place.

Without responding to Edward's inquiring look, Jasper grabbed Vlad and escaped in a flash. Edward was so stunned that it took him the tiniest second to dart after the two, so he was too late to prevent Jasper from trapping Vlad in a leftover Easter egg prison.

"Jasper! What the Hell?!? Vlad hates being enclosed like that, you know that! What are you thinking?!?"
"Two words, my brother: Bat Bowling."
"What??! NO! You let Vlad out right this second, or I will tear you limb from limb!" Edward began to growl...

Upon being released, Vlad flew up the wall to get away from Jasper, and Edward attempted to calm him down.

"Vlad? Sweetheart? It's okay. Jasper wasn't trying to be so mean, and he didn't mean to scare you. He forgot about your fear of small spaces. You stay up here as long as you need, and I'll let you know as soon as he leaves, okay? Just rest for now."
Edward climbed back down the wall and growled, "Jasper???!"

Once he found Jasper, retribution was in order.

"YOU" [slam] "DO" [slam] "NOT" [slam] "TREAT" [slam] "VLAD" [slam] "IN" [slam] "THAT" [slam] "MANNER!!!!" [slam slam slam]
Edward moved back over to the side of the machine in which he'd been slamming Jasper.

"I demonstrate to you the power of the EWave. Fear it. Respect it. Be glad I didn't turn it on with you inside."

Hearing the sound of a key in the door, Edward quickly gestured to Jasper that he should get out of the house - Edward wasn't sure what LwE's reaction might be to unexpected vampiric company, and didn't want to get into any trouble - her previous punishments had struck fear into his cold, immobile heart.
On his way out the nearest window, Jasper paused atop a speaker.

"Edward? I'm sorry for what I did to Vlad. Let's hunt together soon, okay?"
And out the window he went.

Edward heaved a sigh of relief and turned to greet his human.
"Hello, love. How was your evening?"

I hope you all enjoyed the contest entries as much as I did. I love mini Edward humor and since there is so little of it out there, this was really fun for me. So thank you to all the contestants, Musing Bella, Mrs. P, and Tongue Twied, for making my day. And I hope you all enjoy you new mini Edward!


Dangrdafne said...

The microwave pics and captions are hilarious! I love the words interspersed with "slam". Too funny!!

Thanks to Tongue Twied, Mrs. P and Musing Bella for tons of fun. I was so looking forward to seeing what you had done, and it was worth the wait!!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh my god...the conversation as he was pumping edward with the microwave door was a classic. I also loved the last!!!

TongueTwied said...

Bat bowling! LMAO!!! The microwave door SLAMs were hysterical! fun stuff MB!

Musing Bella said...

LMAO - I'm glad you guys liked it! I love LwE's stuff, so I just tried to live up to the standard she set! I am happy, flattered, and proud that I will be receiving a T.Edlet (which will be his name), and I hope he gets here in time to join me at Eclipse!! *crosses fingers* But no pressure - I know it's a long-shot (although I'm not seeing it till Friday, so...?).

17foreverlisa said...

Finally getting over here to read all three entries. Hilarious!! And how sweet of you, LwE, to give them all their very own mini-E.

Great idea and good job, girls!