Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Me? Cookie Thief? I Think Not

There seems to have been some confusion going on over at Violet Delights about the free cookies being offered and who the hell took them all. Mr. Pantz seems to think that it was I that ate all the cookies and didn't leave any for any one else. Musing Bella has also been named a suspect. You see Mr. Pantz caught me at the empty plate of cookies with what he says "crumbs all over my chesticles". Now this may be true, but I can assure you that I did not put the crumbs on said chesticles, as I was also flabbergasted at the empty cookie plate. The crumbs were thrown at me before I could see who was there before me. So in an effort to clear my name, I did some detective work to find the real culprit.

Working at a bank taught me that when there is something fishy going on the first thing you do is check the surveillance tapes. So that's what I did. Don't you all have security cameras on your blog roll? Well you should.

Here is what I found:
The cookie thief is none other than mini Edward. I can't believe it. I let him out of my sight for 2 seconds and this is what he does. He doesn't even eat food for crying out loud! I have no idea why he would do this and he refuses to give me an answer on the matter.

So I would like to apologise to Mr. Pantz and Starlitviolets on behalf of Edward. He will never take all the cookies again. I want you to know that I am taking this matter seriously and Edward is undergoing severe punishment. For the next 3 days Edward has to eat a small can of cat food every 2 hours and keep the food down for at least an hour. You have no idea how hard it is to come up with punishments for vampires, but this one seems to be working.


Dangrdafne said...

Wait, how could your mini-Edward been out in Oregon to steal the cookies?? I am confused. I think someone spliced a tape together there or something ;) But then he did "accept" his punishment, which I must say is pretty darn gross blech. LOL

that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

my cheeks hurt. that was awesome!!! i absolutely loved this post. not just because i like to see my name hilighted in red and underlined. but because i love how you just took the joke i was throwing your way and RAN with it. you put in a lot of effort and showed that you were willing to take this joke much farther than i. that's cmomitment. which also shows that you are invested in having a little bit of neighborly fun here in Twitardia. plus it was downright hilarious!!! consider me impressed.

kudos. you earned yourself an add... i'll be back.

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

Sooo, does that mean THIS is the dark side, I mean, if you were offering cookies and all?


TongueTwied said...

I'd like to offer a theory, if I may.

Edward does not eat. Edward feels very protective his love.

I believe Edward is trying to take the fall for someone and said video is fixed. Possibly even Eduardo was brought in to team up to protect the ones they love.

That's all I'm saying with heavy implication.

Living with Edward said...

@DD: I can't believe you would try and get me in trouble by saying the tapes were spliced! LOL Edward is really not enjoying the punishment.

@Mr. Pantz: I am all for Twitardia neighborly fun! I'm glad you were entertained. That means I did my job. And welcome to our crazy gang. You fit in rather nicely.

@Jelena: Starlitviolets was offering the cookies that Edward stole. And Edward really wants this to be the dark side. He is a huge Star Wars fan.

@TT: I know Edward doesn't eat so I was shocked that he would do such a thing. He is not covering for me. But I believe he was doing me a favor. He knows that I have been trying to cut back on sweets and knows if someone says "free cookies", Edward knows I will have no will power. But he still shouldn't have stolen them from everyone else. So his punishment still stands, but I have shortened it by one day.

Dangrdafne said...

LOL! I actually didn't mean to imply that YOU spliced the feed and get you in trouble but that SOMEONE did it. I never wrote or read my comment as it being you. LOL! Duh on my part.

StarlitViolets said...

AWESOME!!!I didn't even know you had your own blog until Miss DangrDafne told me about you in an email. I'll add you to my blog roll. Feel free to add my if you want.

And I think that MY MiniE was the actual criminal. I think there's a network of MiniEs all doing naughty things and some how communicating with each other. It's all a conspiracy.

StarlitViolets said...

Nevermind - I'm an ass of a bad bloggy buddy. You already have me on your blog roll and I didn't even realize you HAD a blog. :( I promise to do better in the future. :)

Does the fact that I became your 30th follower help?

Living with Edward said...

@SV: Don't worry about not knowing about the blog and all that. There are so many of us that it can get to be much at times. I only recently got over to Tigerlily Rose!

My 30th?! Wow, yay! I was TR's 30th the other day.

The mini E thing may be true. This may need further investigation.