Friday, May 28, 2010
Big puffy hearts,
Monday, May 24, 2010
Now Edward didn't come out and tell me about the boredom. It is something that I figured out on my own. He started displaying some different behaviour. Well, different since his last deviancy during the whole werewolf debacle. But Edward has been very good lately, and recently he seems to have gone backwards a bit. Now he isn't doing anything malicious or conspiratory, just out of the ordinary, getting himself into trouble or being ....... weird. Hmmmm, I haven't considered the fact that maybe he is learning any of this from Eduardo.
Anyway, here is what led up to my bored theory. It all started one day in my car. Edward decided that he wanted to pick some music. I agreed and he went to my visor CD holder and picked something out.
I was very surprised to see his choice of Butch Walker. This isn't Edward's favorite CD. He doesn't really mind so much when I play it, but doesn't really connect with it lyrically. Butch tends to write whatever he thinks without caring about what other people think and can be a bit controversial and rebellious, but not too shocking. So when Edward picked it, I became a bit suspicious. And I soon found that my suspicions were well founded.
Edward started swinging from a necklace I have hanging from the rear view mirror.
Most of you know that I take Edward everywhere. He has a spot in my purse. So after work one Saturday I had to go to a bridal shower. So naturally Edward had to go with me. Let me tell you, he was BORED. Edward and cutesy girl things don't mix. If you have a mini Edward, I suggest to leave him at home with some movie rentals or something for such occasions.
Edward really didn't like it when we dressed him up as a bride. But he looked so cute. And tolerant.
"Can you hurry up and take the picture?! This is humiliating."
"But you look so cute."
In angry voice, "I'll show you cute."
"What was that, Edward?"
"I said thank you for bringing me here."
Isn't he sweet?
Then Edward started to try to find his own fun.
"Edward, get out of the center piece!"
"Leave me alone. I'm doing yoga."
"No your not. You're embarrassing me. Now get out of there."
Edward listened and got out, but was still determined to be rebellious.
"Edward! Do you want to get me kicked out?! Where did you get a cigarette?"
"This is no time for a "your mom" joke."
"No seriously, your mom gave it to me. I asked her for it when you went to get more cookies."
I then had a discussion with my mom on the topic of encouraging certain behaviour in Edward.
So I thought I would give Edward something to do. Maybe having a job would be a good distraction. There wasn't much that he could do, so I didn't have much to work with. So I just told Edward to hold this cookie. That was his job. Just hold the cookie. It's very important.
Edward held it for a few minutes and then decided that I was crazy for thinking that a cookie needed holding. Then I told him to check all the seashells in the center piece to make sure you could hear the ocean in all of them. Yeah, I was really at a loss for Edward jobs, so I was just making them up. He knew, but he was desperately bored and did it anyway.
Edward has also been displaying his boredom at work. However, so do I, but that is completely different. I have the attention span of a gnat. Anyway, I noticed Edward's boredom one day when he started stringing paper clips together. He isn't one for craft time, so I was a bit confused. Then he started showing me all the ways paper clips could be used and an accessory.
For example, a paper clip scarf.
A paper clip boa.
How about a paper clip sash?
"EW!! What the hell is in this, turpentine?! How can you eat this?"
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sarah definitely has her hands full with him. In a very different way than I do with Edward. Even though Edward and Eduardo look incredibly similar and have a lot of things in common, they do actually have very different personalities. Edward is a very strong personality. He wants things the way he wants them and that causes some issues here and there, as you have seen. Edward is also a very careful creature. He usually doesn't do anything without severely thinking of the consequences first. He will let loose once in a while. But Eduardo is very different in this aspect. He just does whatever, whenever he thinks of it, which causes himself to be found in some uh.....shall I say.......precarious situations. I'll show you what I mean.
There have been a few times at work where things didn't go as planned. Eduardo tried to answer the phone, but the phone kinda took over.
Then Eduardo wanted to roll some quarters, but the quarter wrapper kinda took over.
Then he was helping Sarah stamp some documents and the stamp kinda took over.
Notice the theme? This isn't just at work either. Eduardo no longer likes doing laundry.
Eduardo didn't care though, he thought it was funny. Now if that happened to Edward, I would have said goodbye cat.
Sometimes he prefers more of a bubble bath.
Eduardo is so vain that he even takes his weight seriously.
Edward fixed the scale to read 125 whenever it is used and sent Eduardo into a tizzy with working out.
Edward thought this was a very good practical joke. I had my doubts but Edward was positive that Eduardo would fall for it. To my surprise he did. Always trust a mind reader to play a good prank. Eduardo does know he is frozen the way he is, right?? I guess he is just that paranoid about it.
Eduardo has been caught doing some other um.....interesting things around the house. It turns out that Eduardo has a thing for the book Treasure Island and secretly wishes to be a pirate.
"Mmmmm.......mmmm" Eduardo thinks it's funny and ironic when he dresses up as another mythical creature. Very scary, Eduardo. Good job. We like to encourage him as much as possible. With his child like personality, we just can't bear to hurt his feelings. Edward scoffs at this. He may be jealous.
Eduardo has one of the same hobbies as Edward. Creating mischief.
This gives Sarah one of my hobbies. Creating punishment.
Eduardo has a huge interest in marine life. He wants to go to school for marine biology. Either that or work at Sea World. He is still undecided. Here he is enjoying a dolphin thrill ride.
And Eduardo is a very accomplished fish dentist.
Tonight I shall give you a better introduction into the life of Eduardo. So stay tuned!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
So while Edward and Eduardo were gleefully wasting paper on my printer today, I decided to perhaps see how many of you really know Edward. This is tough, because I didn't use direct face shots, so it's a real challenge. You may revert back to old posts to try and compare paint. After all, no two Edward's are alike.
So which one is Edward? Holding the paper or not holding the paper?
How about now? Did they switch? Remember, I am an expert Edward poser, so I can switch them and put them in the exact same positions easily. But did I?? There is no prize for getting this challenge correct. Only the warm fuzzy feeling you will get inside for really knowing Edward. And if you get it wrong, Edward will understand and still love you. He is not too stubborn to not admit the likeness him and Eduardo share.
And Ps. Edward still wants you to go see Eclipse with him. I know I keep posting this, but he is making me. So if it annoys you, you have to take it up with him. He hopes that you are not insulted with his persistence.
Oh, and he says "Be safe". Whatever that means. He told me you would all know what he meant.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Here is Edward with his New Moon tickets, no Eclipse tickets yet. You may wonder, well what is he waiting for? YOU!! Most of you know about this post where Dangrdafne and I invited you to come see Eclipse with us. That was over a month ago already, can you believe it? I can't. Well tickets go on sale tomorrow so it is time for us to pick a venue that we can all get to and buy the tickets. Some theaters are going to do a triple feature with all 3 installments of Twilight, so we need to see who wants to see what and find a theater that offers it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can sit in a theater for over 6 hours watching movies, maybe I can. I don't have to go to work the next day, so I'm up for anything you guys want, but some of you do have to work, therefore I am not going to push anyone either. Whatever is fine with me.
So what I need from you guys is a head count of who is coming, asap! So far I know of a certain boot wearing blonde that suggested an interest. wink wink. So please get back to me right away at email@example.com or contact Dangrdafne at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ps. Edward still wants you....
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Working at a bank taught me that when there is something fishy going on the first thing you do is check the surveillance tapes. So that's what I did. Don't you all have security cameras on your blog roll? Well you should.
Here is what I found:
The cookie thief is none other than mini Edward. I can't believe it. I let him out of my sight for 2 seconds and this is what he does. He doesn't even eat food for crying out loud! I have no idea why he would do this and he refuses to give me an answer on the matter.
So I would like to apologise to Mr. Pantz and Starlitviolets on behalf of Edward. He will never take all the cookies again. I want you to know that I am taking this matter seriously and Edward is undergoing severe punishment. For the next 3 days Edward has to eat a small can of cat food every 2 hours and keep the food down for at least an hour. You have no idea how hard it is to come up with punishments for vampires, but this one seems to be working.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Anyway, the waitress was kind and brought us 3 fortune cookies. She just thought Edward was the cutest thing. He rolled his eyes, as did I, but he said thank you for the cookie he wouldn't eat. Edward opened it anyway since we were reading our fortunes. He read his to himself then turned to me, showed me the fortune and said, "Here love, I think they accidentally gave me yours. This seems to pertain to you."
I smiled graciously and gave Edward a little pat on the head for his kindness, while thinking to myself, "This is soooooooo true!", and giving myself an ego boost.
Does anyone else see the importance of this, though? Anyone, anyone, Bueller?
Edward is a suck up.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I am very lucky to be able to work at the same place as my best friend from high school. We have very good times being all giggly and annoying with each other. It's like we never left high school except we don't have any homework, not that I did it anyway. Anywhoosal, I've turned my friend to the dark side, and let her borrow Twilight. Then she started hinting that she wanted her own mini Edward. So what does a good friend do? That's right, enable. So I got her her own mini Edward. Being my friend has it's perks. So my friend brought her Edward to work, so of course, this means that we now have two Edwards' at our branch. They should work well together right? So I thought.........
Rainbow text makes all our lives easier.
Edward: Always blue
Other Edward: Green
So, right away, Other Edward was very cordial, as was to be expected. That's just how Edward is. "It's nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Edward." Other Edward is on the right, here. However, that changes.
As you can see, Edward is not being very cooperative. He stood and stared at Other Edward for quite a few moments. He wasn't giving a friendly stare either. I think some one's ego was getting in the way. I decided to intervene. "Edward, don't forget your manners. Don't embarrass me now."
"Impossible, love. You do that enough yourself."
Edward sighs. "Hello, Edward." I knew he would relent. Edward is a good vamp.
Then I gave Edward some alone time. I told him to just hang out for a while. He took me literally. Even in all this turmoil, he still tries to make me laugh. He must feel bad.
Unfortunately, the antics didn't stop there. I have a feeling that at some point during the day Edward must have thought of his worst fear, because, while he was sorting through some rubber bands, Eduardo decided to sneak up on him wearing a costume.
Anyway, Edward had the feeling he was being watched and slowly turned his head to see what was there. "BOO!!"
"HOLY S#!%!!!!!! I have never heard Edward swear. He must have been really really scared. He went flying into a hiding place.
Then he realised it was Eduardo. He was not happy. Edward climbed back out of the tissue box, tackled Eduardo and carried him over to the drive thru.
"No, Edward, don't hit the send button!" But I was too late. Eduardo was on his way outside. I ran over and hit the recall button to bring him back in hoping his head didn't get smashed off when he landed on it outside. When the tube came back, I quickly opened it to make sure there was no harm done to Eduardo. His reaction really surprised me.