Friday, March 19, 2010


Edward's stalker has been making more appearances in most places that Edward goes. The creature has not shown any signs of aggression or malice, it just stares at Edward. Therefore, Edward has decided that the stalker is completely harmless but is outrageously annoying. He can't stand it. Edward dreads leaving the house now. He just doesn't want to have to deal with the gawking. So Edward and I put our heads together to try to come up with a way that could give Edward some peace of mind about going out in public again. Maybe if he just wasn't so recognizable. If only he could at least change his coat. Hmmmmm........Then Edward had an idea. He ran to my dresser, pulled out an old t-shirt, found a sewing kit and scissors, and brought it all back to me. I asked him what he wanted me to do with it. He said, "Make me a hoodie!" very excitedly. He thought he was really onto something. I was apprehensive about it because I have never made any kind of clothing before. I'm lucky I can reattach a button. Edward didn't care. "It doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it will be better if it looks like something I wouldn't wear. It can look goofy." Edward reassured me and 3 attempts and countless hours afterward, I finished the hoodie and had Edward try it on.

He slipped it over his head and looked at himself in the mirror, for a little too long might I add, and seemed pleased with the results, even though it is one of the ugliest effing hoodies ever. I think it looks more like a short Jedi robe. Hmm..maybe that's why Edward likes it. I asked Edward if he thinks it will work at disguising his true identity from the stalker. "Unfortunately, there is only one way to find out." So off to work we went to test Edward's idea.

When we first got there, Edward was still very cautious of being disclosed so took a few minutes to just peek around a bit.

Once he was a bit more comfortable, he started to experiment with exposing himself a tad more.

Then he decided to really put himself out there and leave the purse completely, but someone wanted to tag along. "No, Vlad. Stay here. I still don't know exactly how dangerous this is."

Vlad was disappointed but obediently listened to Edward and stayed put on the purse. Edward then started experimenting with different locations in the building. It was obvious he still wasn't very comfortable. I couldn't even find him at first. I didn't think to look in the tissue box.
He then tried blending in with the rubber bands and coin wrappers. After all, vampires are supposed to be masters of their environment.

Here he is imitating some highlighters.

A drawer is always a good hiding spot.

After about 5 hours of the stalker being a no show, Edward decided to really test his theory and come out of hiding.

He stood here for a bit then decided that he was still feeling a bit uncomfortable right in front of the window so he moved a bit out of the way to somewhere tad more concealed but still out in the open.

Edward spent the whole day like this. Every once in a while he would move and try a new spot. At the end of the day he was very happy because the stalker didn't show up. Edward's disguise worked better than he thought it would. Now, that Edward is feeling a bit more safe and triumphant, he is formulating his plan to capture and dispose of the harassing creature. (Edward wrings his hands together with evil laughter)


Dangrdafne said...

Edward in the tissue box is priceless. LMAO!!!

KG said...

that is hilarious! in the first picture Edward is very young Darth Vader-esque. I loves it!

TooMuchCoffee said...

If the robe was full length, he'd look like the Grim Reaper. teehee

17foreverlisa said...

LMAO!!!! You know how much I love your posts. I think that if Rob saw your mad sewing skillz, he'd want one of those hoodies for himself ;)


Living with Edward said...

@ Dangrdafne: Yes the tissue box is totaly my favorite.

@KG: That is so funny you say that because my husband kept saying,"He looks like Anakin Skywalker right before he turned to the darkside." haha

@Coffee: Edward is totaly looking forward to reaping grimmly. Mwahaha

@Lisa: Hahaha. That would be the day. As long as he really insists on looking like a hobo, I can accomidate his needs.

Jenny Jerkface said...

The picture with the tissue box had me rolling on the floor. I have no voice right now so I ended up doing this terrifying hacking death laugh - I think I scared Gizmo, it was THAT funny.

Love the post!

Living with Edward said...

@JJ: You laughed that hard? And the post didn't have any mention of penises, sex toys, or icy cold vamp lube. I feel like I really accomplished something! hahaha

Glad to see you came back from SXSW in one piece. Welcome back!